Nicole vs. Life
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
