1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
