wrigley field is MILF paradise
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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