But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
