just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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