apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
