Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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