Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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