why didn't you poke me back
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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