Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
