So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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