I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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