i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
