dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
