HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize