Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
