I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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