In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Quick, to the slutcave!
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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