You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Someone signed my nipple.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
