So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
