3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
