and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
