MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
