I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I have already put on my inside pants.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
