and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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