I bet he comes in French.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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