She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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