throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
