3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
