puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
