I am spending my child support on dildos
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Found your dick twin last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize