I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
