Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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