Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
