So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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