This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
