I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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