its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
