The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
