if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
