Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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