I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
