So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
