I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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