Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
