in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
