that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
