Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Randomize
