Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
