You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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