I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
