whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
