YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
