Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
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