Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
