Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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