I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
