somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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